“I love my boyfriend but when it comes to restraint of pen and tongue, it’s so hard for me not to want to tell him everything that’s on my mind—good and bad,” she confesses.“I just get so worked up about things and then it comes out at him.There’s an old joke in recovery circles that goes: how do you know when a date between two sober alcoholics has gone well?Punch line: They move in together before it's over.
Though they might have a higher sensitivity to critical comments, they also have access to tools that can help them to be both loving and kind and honest.
She is also 23 years sober and married to a fellow sober alcoholic.
As she explains, “The biggest challenge in sober relationships is allowing the person to work their own program and not trying to control what they do even when we think we know what’s in their best interest.
“The minute I start trying to control things is the minute that it stops working,” she says.
“I just have to remind myself that I am not the Grand Designer of this world; if I was, I would stop famine in Africa, end all war, and make my boyfriend hang up his clothes every night.