Dating after an abusive relationship

Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame. If you are being abused, remember: As you face the decision to either end the abusive relationship or try to save it, keep the following things in mind: If you’re hoping your abusive partner will change... Abusers have deep emotional and psychological problems.While change is not impossible, it isn’t quick or easy.Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house (both during the day and at night) if you sense trouble brewing. Know where to go if your abuser attacks or an argument starts.

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You may think you’re the only one who understands him or that it’s your responsibility to fix his problems.Whether or not you’re ready to leave your abuser, there are things you can do to protect yourself.These safety tips can make the difference between being severely injured or killed and escaping with your life. Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence.Some domestic violence shelters offer free cell phones to battered women. Even if you’ve already left by the time the bill arrives, your abuser may be able to track you down by the phone numbers you’ve called for help. If you seek help online, you are safest if you use a computer outside of your home.While there are ways to delete your Internet history on a computer, tablet, or smartphone that your abuser has access to, this can be a red flag that you’re trying to hide something.You may be afraid to leave or ask for help out of fear that your partner will retaliate if he finds out.However, there are precautions you can take to stay safe and keep your abuser from finding out what you’re doing.Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter, and domestic violence hotline.Abusers often monitor their partner’s activities, including their phone, computer, and Internet use.If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window. Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors, or co-workers know that you’re in danger and they should call the police. Keep the car fueled up and facing the driveway exit, with the driver’s door unlocked.Hide a spare car key where you can get to it quickly.

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