Try to keep each other up to date as to how the relationship is going for each of you, but without increasing pressure to have stuff resolved right now.
It is also good to remind yourself that, although you are impacted by his behaviour, it is not all about you.
One of the best things you can do is to keep respectful communication flowing.
Remember to take time out if it gets too intense, and then to return to the topic and talk about the important stuff when you have had a breather.
For a long time, until I could talk about it all and find some other ways of getting by, I just tried whatever was available.He might do this with the idea that this will help stop things from getting worse, or that it might help keep his partner safe. Understand that in all relationships there are times for togetherness and there are times where a little space is welcome.It is good to regularly check in with a partner to see how they are travelling.There is no prescribed way that an experience of sexual abuse will impact on a man or on his relationships. A man will often try to find his own way to deal with the experience of sexual abuse, and will work hard to limit its impact on his life and relationships.Although hearing that a man has been sexually abused is distressing, sometimes this information can help a partner make sense of some of the behaviours they have been observing.The behaviours listed above might have developed as a direct result of being sexually abused, or in an effort to manage the trauma.They should not be seen as evidence of a damaged person.Some of those things took the edge off things for awhile and that’s probably why I kept doing them.” It is really important to avoid seeing everything that happens in a relationship through the prism of sexual assault. Couple relationships often involve two people muddling their way through, negotiating and sorting things out, trying to ultimately build satisfying and supportive lives.Many of the ways you have used to get through difficult times together will continue to be helpful in overcoming problems related to sexual abuse or sexual assault.Sometimes, it is only when things aren’t playing out the way that you hoped for that you identify what you most value and appreciate about relationships and what you want from a partner.This then provides an opportunity to talk and confirm there is a shared vision that you can both work towards. I always thought that if he loved me enough he would stop doing those things – now I can see that it was his way of switching off and although I still don’t like it and want him to change, at least I can see it for what it is” A man’s, and possibly even your own, sense of shame around what happened, the effects, and fear of other people’s reactions or judgments.