I had the rare opportunity, a few years ago, to live with my oldest niece for two years while she was finishing her teaching license requirements at BYU and I was back at BYU trying to finish my BA.
She was still in the young BYU, early 20’s crowd (and met her husband during that time) and I was attending the “Midsingles Ward” (ages 30-45) that I’m still a member of today.
Julie: Hanging out is when people are too scared to pair off. Hanging out should be just friends and maybe it’s a chance to find people to ask out. The second date should help you get to know them more and decide if you’d like to have a 3rd date with them. lol Then maybe more people would actually be going out on real dates.
A first date should be time spent with someone to get to know them and decide if you want to go out on a second date. Also, dates do not need to require ANY money to be spent, I hear that excuse a lot and I think it’s silly. The most fun part of the date was at the house afterward when we played air hockey in his basement!
One is a dried fruit, the other is a social interaction between a man and a woman engaging in a mutually enjoyable activity. lol Nathan: A date is something that I do once a year just to shut my mother up.
I think Canada is too cold (for) the dried fruit kind to grow, however they keep well and are sold in almost all grocery stores. Akahata: A date is an appointment that you make with someone that you want to get to know in a romantic way.
The singles that I knew at UCLA seemed to me to be pretty brave about asking each other out, so I figured they were being hard on themselves. Stephanie: I had a “guy friend” for several years who continuously asked if he could come over to my house or if I would go to his (oh boy, I hope he doesn’t see this or he’ll recognize his story, haha) and watch a movie while cuddling.
one night before I left town, when I knew nothing about them, except, they were cute, they were members, and they were in the same place I was, and I wanted to know more about them. Many I didn’t have enough in common with them to stay in touch, but I discovered that due to my many varied interests, I had at least something in common with everyone I ever met, even when they were not members and I met them in other ways, but I still knew very little to nothing about them.I think the definition has to do with the intent of the participants.Matt: A date is spending time with someone, getting to know them on a personal level.(Incidentally, most of those students that I knew are now married with children, so they must have done something right.) As for us “older folk,” and the YSA’s, are we avoiding dating by sticking to the safety of “hanging out”, or are we still making our best effort? A while back he mentioned he was irritated with me because I kept shooting him down when he was asking me out. I guess it’s safe to say, in MY book, I never recognized asking to sit and cuddle on one of our couches as a date.That was the aspect of Elder Oaks’ and Sister Oaks’ talks that I remember most. I think people forget that Sister Oaks spoke, too, because Elder Oaks dropped the “bombshell,” (depending on how you saw it), then she got to be the comforting, “I’ve been where you are before….” because she didn’t get married until she was in her 50’s. Brandan: for Polynesians, hanging out means eating, If there’s no food, there are no people. Hyeon: I prefer to become friends first before a date. I would say it’s when one asks another out to enjoy each other’s company if you already know each other or get to know each other, with the potential or possibility of a more close and intimate relationship.In my niece I had a fun roommate, and I also had fun watching her and her friends’ experiences in the BYU dating scene.I think it goes without saying that the dating scene among BYU students and that of singles over age 30 is different in many ways, and that anyone outside of Utah or older than 25 or 30 has fewer prospects for dating. A lot of people can get hurt with hanging out, wondering why a certain person hasn’t asked them out, etc.However, I had a lot of fun recently interviewing singles of different ages and places as to their definition of what constitutes a “date” versus “hanging out.” Sound familiar? But I think that depends on how you handle things emotionally, and what your expectations are.) Jessica: A date is when two people, having common interests, participate in a mutually decided upon activity with the intent to analyze each other’s words, actions, and suitability for eternal companionship …my opinion of course. Jennifer: In order to clarify with men about if we are on a date, if a man asks me to hang out with them I ask “you mean like on a date? They will clarify for me and then I can decide do I want to hang or date. Paul: I agree with Jessica, but would add, that is what I would say from a religious standpoint and it is regardless of whether the intent is there to analyze those things…I was recently divorced and attending classes at UCLA and the Westwood LDS Institute of Religion when Elder and Sister Oaks gave their now classic talks on “Hanging Out.” I was a little amused by the reaction it caused, with singles worrying that he was trying to say that we should never, ever spend time with a group of friends. and regardless of whether there are actually any common interests, because sometimes the date is solely to find out IF there are common interests, because one often does not know and if there are common interests, one often does not even notice they are actually analyzing words, actions and suitability for eternal companionship, as their intent may have only been to go have fun.At least until we went out and spent some time getting to know each other.Then we always found out there was plenty we had in common.