I was like “Creepy” is a word that comes up a lot when I’m having an honest discussion with men about their feelings on their sexualities.
In fact, it is so ubiquitous, I think you should just go ahead and assume most men feel like they are creepy for getting turned on, or probably felt that way at some point in their lives.
Society doesn’t allow for the blame-absolving narrative of “that girl turned me on so much it wasn’t my fault” when it comes to a fat chick because society pretends fat chicks aren’t hot.
That’s where all this male anger at big women comes from; it’s not because men don’t desire them, I experienced some version of this the other night.
For me, I think this was the most telling quote: And, ok, that’s a good explanation for why he doesn’t say “I had a threeway last week,” or “I haven’t had sex in over a year,” but it doesn’t explain why men don’t say “touching her breasts made me really horny.” However, I think that’s covered in to openly talk about how turned on he got. Because society labels men creepy when they are open about their sexual feelings.
And, I think because men are too ashamed to claim ownership of their sexual feelings, It’s telling that gay men have body image issues more than lesbians. Usually instead of saying “I am turned on by that woman,” a man will say “that woman is hot.” The first phrasing places the locus of control within his own body (aka, in a way, making it “his fault” if he gets turned on), the second phrasing places the locus of control within the woman’s body (making it “her fault” if he gets turned on.) And, he will be inclined to do the second because him get horny, and zomg she was SO HOT it totally wasn’t his fault.
I also think this is why men don’t write about their sex lives.
Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.Dating a butch women who is shit that I never noticed before, especially when I bring up being sexually assaulted.I remember one guy telling me, after I told him about the assault, that he thought society would be better if men were chemically castrated.In another time or place, I would have looked in the mirror and thought I looked hot. I had a quick chat with a feminist friend of mine, and she said “ugh, fucking men and porn ruins everything.” And like…I don’t totally disagree with that, but I kind of feel like that’s not the whole story. In fact, often women seem to be more vocally superficial in the first few dates than men do (presumably, because we punish men more for their outbursts of superficiality) but somehow men leave me feeling worse.I mean, I think it was a reasonable hypothesis — women feel like shit about how they look because they see hyper-beauty everywhere — but again, I think there’s more to the story than that.Because, female fetishization of beauty was not as painful to me as male fetishization. A warm welcome to our newest user: isamu20202 In total there are 4197 users online porn BB including 1020 online fetish BB, 115 online hentai BB and 145 online gay BB.Most users ever online is 12584 on August 28, 2011 am CEST.Last week, the #fatshamingweek hastag was trending on Twitter as numerous assholes and shitbags took to the network and decided to mock fat people – mostly women, but men too – from behind the dubious anonymity of their Twitter accounts.Now we could dwell on the fact that these various winners are not gym-sculpted Adonnises themselves, but instead I want to focus on the positive and work on people’s lives instead of trying to stroke the hate-boner.