I went to a dinner party at a friend’s home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time. Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing! And why not give them a sincere compliment to boost their self-esteem? So, one tiny bit of opposition to a culture that sends all the wrong messages to our girls. She has also been profiled, featured, and quoted in hundreds of publications, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, Elle, Ladies’ Home Journal, and Variety.Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly. This week ABC news reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. Bloom graduated early and Phi Beta Kappa from UCLA, where she was national college debate champion, and then from the Yale Law School, where she won the moot court competition.
I am going to be much more mindful of what I choose to highlight now based on this article.It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger. But, I think it’s important because she dresses for her own satisfaction, and not any particular style that I can discern. She has shirts with peace signs on them, and of course ones with horses. It’s just something she occasionally makes an effort to do. That being said, I agree that it shouldn’t be the first or only topic of conversation. ” and follow it up with “What have you learned recently?As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments. I’m much happier when she makes it over the higher jump on a horse. ” Reply That’s the important thing, I think: complimenting where compliments are due. As Lisa alluded to in the article, the problems come when only one aspect of a personality is ever praised – and also if it’s only praise that is ever received.As a parent, we could help by introducing our child by name and an interest.For example, “This is Amelia and she loves drawing different animals and plants.” or “This is Nikita and she loves doing puzzles.” This would then prompt the person to delve deeper or provide a general comment about the particular interest, rather than appearance which is an easy default. It reinforces to our child(ren) that we recognize and honor their interest as well as encourages the adult (or kid for that matter) to engage them.I wish I’d never read a Teen magazine, and instead enjoyed my youth. Reply Maybe you could gently guide the adult to a new way to interact with any child, really, by asking your girls to tell the person what their reading now or about a subject that interests your girls.Reply I just *loved* this post, and I have young daughters – oh how I wish every person who met them was a savvy about little girls as you. I think some adults just don’t know what to say to kids. I agree that there are many adults who just don’t know what else to say, particularly if they don’t have children of their own.Reply Hi Katie, I thought this article was very good and it really makes me think about what we admire in little girls, I think we need to have a balance in how much emphasis we put on how they look. I usually don’t go on about looks to my 2 nieces, but in the future I’m going to be more cunning with steering the conversation.And you’re right about the dieting/weight issue, my nieces are 4 and 6 and both are troubled by this!But I appreciate the message here, and I hope to integrate this more deeply into our lives daily. Reply I want reply to what you said because I think there is a nuance here that is important.I appreciate what you are saying that your twin girls are beautiful, without adornment like nail polish or accessories.