Sometimes I want to talk to someone who just gets it.
– where affinity groups can be together without the presence of the oppressor – exist: so that tough conversations can be had with fewer guards up, so that you can communicate thousands of ideas in a single collective sigh, so that you can cry together with those who don’t just sympathize, but empathize.
So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.
While it’s okay for conversations about white supremacy to make you uncomfortable (hey, we should be uncomfortable with that shit), being generally aware of how race plays out and feeling fairly well versed in Being honest about the ways in which race is complex – both inside and outside of your relationship – shows a willingness to engage with a part of your partner’s identity and experience in a way that really holds them.
As a white person dating a black male, even my family has unconsciously been biased against our relationship with questions like, “What will happen if they have kids? The preconceptions about a race do more than deter relationships—they also hurt people (read more about Curtis and you’ll hear firsthand).
And while it’s important to be willing to talk to your partner about race and to feel comfortable bringing it up, it’s just as important to be willing to step back and recognize when your whiteness is intrusive. I’ve been the “But I love you, and you love me, and why can’t you share this with me? Because it’s really difficult to watch your partner hurt and not be let in. Maybe it isn’t appropriate for your partner to take you home to meet their parents.
Maybe it isn’t even appropriate for your partner to talk to their family at all about their dating life.
This is where our dating site appears very beneficial for you.
Most white men and black women have the perfect chemistry, and that’s where we want to help our customers.