When her matchmaker asked her to do some brand marketing for TDR, Adelle was happy to make the leap from the corporate world. (I’m really bad at Tindering.) Of course TDR costs money and the apps are free, but you do often get what you pay for. and I tried to schedule a second date, but couldn’t get our schedules lined up.Even though she came in to interview for a marketing job, it became clear that she could do more with TDR and, before she knew it, she was matchmaking. With Adelle, at least, there was a person, a human being on the journey with me. After a few attempts, it was clear that we weren’t quite on the same page. (Still not quite funny enough.) I’m back in the Tinder/Bumble-verse now and I’ve had a little success, but I miss Adelle. After all, isn’t the whole point to find that right someone and get out of the dating pool all together?As a freelance writer, I work alone most of the time, so no chance for co-worker hook-ups. I’m not totally sure what Purim is all about (something about escaping bondage), but I was sure I’d like that, too! It was a 20s-30s singles event, so there was some of that “let’s meet people” vibe built in. As the evening wound down, I found myself chatting with Adelle. But Adelle saw something else: a funny guy with a quick wit who had found a little knot of friends in the most unlikely places. Adelle is in the “lid for every pot” school of love. It was definitely the longest I’d thought about it in specific. We got down to the nitty gritty: how much would all of this cost?
We’re all just wooking pa nub, as the old SNL skit goes, in all da wong places. She tells the same kind of story as mine: LA dating is a tar pit, she was looking for something different, a friend connected her to TDR. How did Adelle wind up in this seemingly archaic job?As a Los Angeleno in the modern era, “dating” has mostly revolved around apps. I've found LA bars to be either total meat markets with music too loud for conversation or dark bars tucked into weird corners of town for hardcore drinkers. I instantly regret choosing it -- I sort of regret all my life choices up until this point. Before the shame spiral really gets spiraling, she walks in, all dressed in blue. Eventually, we turned to the task at hand: what was I looking for? We think, “Well, I’ll know it when I see it.” But how do you look for it?I don’t go to the gym enough or do yoga or whatever people do now to meet women during exercise. Physically, she’s just my type: the right height, the right curves, a killer smile. Adelle had a standard “intake” interview: a series of questions about me, about my dating history, my likes and dislikes. (Lacking kindness, for sure.) Adelle was great, totally non-judgmental about my quirks and oddities.Once I’d finished the questionnaire, the matchmaking began. It’s not just Adelle’s personal “rolodex” of clients that were in play, but also the wider network of TDR clients, even those working with other matchmakers. We instantly bond, like a couple of war-torn soldiers in a foxhole (a foxhole with lattes, but nonetheless). Well, like the old Hair Club for Men commercials go, she isn’t just a matchmaker; she’s a former client.Adelle kept me posted, and let me know when she was close to finding a date for me. Adelle came to Three Day Rule as a customer a few years back.I’m at Urth Caffé in West Hollywood and I can’t stop fidgeting. -- for the first time, and I’m hoping that the right arrangement of my hands will lead to everlasting love. If I’m being honest, “single” has been my natural state for most of my adult life. I got stood up once, the other two were each an awkward, stilted date -- then done. A “partner in crime,” like every fifth person on Tinder? During most of that time, I’ve been wildly, definitively, stubbornly single. In the past two years, I’ve had maybe three matches turn into dates. That said, this isn’t your standard blind date/hook-up app situation: I haven’t met this woman before, I didn’t swipe right on her, and we don’t have any friends in common. That sounds both impressive and horrifying, but it’s true. I’ve lived in LA, on and off, for about four years now. I download them all, do a whole lot of swiping and... My thumbs get plenty of exercise, but not much more.I think I’m a decent enough fella, but I never seem to make “dating” work. The offline dating scene hasn't worked any better for me. It looked like a casual coffee between friends, but it was really the first step in the matchmaking process. When you’re trying to date, we kind of skip this step.That’s why many women are going old school when it comes to love and turning to matchmakers. There are several matchmakers out there, but all matchmakers are not created equal.Based in New York City, Janis Spindel is a veteran matchmaker who caters to the elite.