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"I prefer to communicate through text and Steve likes to communicate in person or over the phone.

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Her goal is to help people change the way they feel about what they’re feeling, and to recognize that the stories they tell themselves “I work with people who know they ‘should’ feel confident, but secretly worry that the reason they don’t have a partner is that there is something wrong with them,” she tells me.AN entrepreneur who fell in love with a firefighter 28 years her senior is on a mission with her man to show that love comes in all shapes, sizes and most importantly - ages.Nadine Tran, 27, and Chicago firefighter Stephen Curley, 55, from Illinois, USA, first met a year ago at the Rock N Roll Mc Donald’s.“It’s that if you tell yourself that there’s nothing out there for you, your brain will miss seeing opportunities and connections that it could have recognized if you had told it to look for evidence that there are lots of options out there.”“The biggest mistake people make in dating is focusing on the kind of person they want to date rather than the kind of relationship they want to have,” Kara says. “We’re constantly scanning for reasons to disqualify someone.” Looking for these deal-breakers can be a method of self-preservation, a way to spot future trouble.If you focus on finding someone hot, smart and tall, these qualities tell you nothing about how this person will show up for you and how you might show up for them. But heartbreak and sadness are a part of life and therefore a part of dating, she explains, so the risk is always there no matter what we do to scan for it.With constant worrying and judgement, you’re not preventing anything.“You’re actually just creating anxiety and sadness for yourself,” she says.Next time you go on a date, Kara advises you ask yourself, “So much of the conventional dating advice out there teaches us to play games, manipulate and not be ourselves in order to snare a partner,” Kara says. A partner who likes a fake version of you.”“This strategy only makes sense if you care more about getting a partner than you do about what kind of relationship you’re going to have with that person.” It’s an impetus that’s not conducive to intimacy, which she describes as “the whole point of a relationship.”What I love about Kara’s dating advice is that it focuses on what I can control.It used to feel emotionally risky to sign up for Tinder, much less dress up and grab a drink with an Internet stranger.It was love at first sight for Nadine who was making her way inside the fast food chain as Stephen was leaving.Both parties did a double take, instantly smitten, and Stephen bought the pair breakfast.


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